Josh Kezer: The Inside of The Inside

Saturday, March 13, 2010

The Inside of The Inside

"I thought I had lost my freedom until I realized that all the barriers I thought were there really.......weren't." author unknown

It occurs to me that this is an accurate picture of who I was on the inside of the inside. This is my testimony. Long before I was released, I was set free. All the barriers that seemingly held me bound really didn't.

I had "Christ in me, the hope of glory".

Jesus. Enough said. His name says it all. He's the one that set me free. He's the one that broke the chains. He's the one that has made me the free man I am today.

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At 18, I was arrested in Illinois and sent to Missouri on a 1st degree murder charge. At 19, I was erroneously convicted of 2nd degree murder and sentenced to two consecutive 30 year sentences. I was sentenced on the victim's birthday. The victim's name was Angela M. Lawless.

The day following my sentence, I was sent to the Missouri Department of Corrections, where my sentence was illegally reconfigured to a 60. I was illegally placed under life sentence sanctions. I did a total of 16 years, 10 of which was spent in Jefferson City's notorious "Walls", once rumored to be the largest prison in the world and a place Time Magazine once deemed "The Bloodiest 47 Acres In America".

Two days after my 34th birthday, I was released and declared "innocent". I was completely exonerated by Judge Richard Callahan on February 17th 2009 and released on the 18th.

I'm a blessed, loved and fortunate man of God.

I'm not trying to be a "good Christian" and I accept that I'm not. I'm just a genuine, authentic, messed up, jacked up, screwed up, busted up, mistake prone, "too much", love struck, silly, incurable, delivered, justified, redeemed and forgiven child of the King and follower of Christ.

I'm a public speaker.

When contacting me for an engagement, please include the following information in your invitation:

. Dates, times and locations

. Travel arrangements

. Your affiliations

. Your vision and purpose

. Why me? and Why you?

. Offered amenities and compensation

When I speak, my goal is to reach into every life listening to me. Everyone has something they're going through. Everyone has something to overcome. No matter what the circumstance, whether legal, criminal, personal, financial, physical, mental or spiritual, people have something to overcome. That's where my message comes in and tries to help. This wasn't who I was before I was locked up. It's who I am now.

What's your testimony?

Here's a snap shot of mine.

I've been beaten with fists and bats, stabbed, shot at, mobbed and ganged up on. As a teenager, I was in a Kankakee Illinois Chicagoland gang and was once addicted to several drugs and alcohol. I've had someone attempt to hit me with a car, nearly fallen to my death as a child and again as a teenager. I've known several forms and types of abuse. I've boxed, lifted weights, wrestled, done some martial arts and am proficient in street fighting. I've overdosed on cocaine and fallen asleep in my own vomit several times as a teenager. I've literally been thrown through walls, been homeless and slept in the worst places, and once, for a matter of months, faced the unfortunate and undeserved prospects of dying by lethal injection while facing charges for a murder I did not commit. I did 16 years in prison as an innocent man in the state of Missouri. I've defended myself against prison rapists and was once hospitalized for a week due to a failed attack by multiple men in the late 90's, and yet ... I'm still here! I'm still breathing! I'm a man of purpose and honor. I'm confident in who I am. I've known enough near death experiences to fill up a thesis, but it's not these near death experiences and atrocities that define me. It's my living and, more specifically, my living in my salvation in Christ that defines me and makes me who I am, and when I'm finished and it's all been said and done, I want to be forever known as a man proficient in a few attributes, as a gentle, loving, honorable and selfless man, a husband, a father and a friend that reflects more of Him and less of me.

In light of my own faults, sins and frailty, of everything I've ever learned, I've learned this more than anything; more than the Cross, I need the Lord of the conquered Cross of sin and death. I need the Life Giver. I need Jesus. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. I am unashamed.

"I was crushed...so much so that I despaired even of life, but that was to make me rely not on myself, but on the God who raises the dead." 2nd Corinthians 1:8,9

joshkezer@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/joshkezer

Josh Kezer