Living the Dream / Beyond The Nightmare ~
The Personal Blog of an Innocent Man
I have been blessed with many things on my journey here, and one of those such gifts has often come in the form of unexplained knowledge and a bizarre ability see the true picture and/or the missing pieces that others don't. Although what I am questioning has probably already been answered, I still feel driven to ask in case this is one of those times that what I see can help.If you are interested and truly are the person who reads your email, I am happy to send the questions and a description of the actual vision that kept coming to mind while watching this morning. I would rather not post, since they are simply questions and a personal consideration that may have no validity. In the end, Joshua, as awful as it sounds, our journeys are not always about us. I believe in Angels. I also believe that some things HAVE to occur in order for God's Angels to do their work. Maybe we even know what we're headed for, choose to take on the task, and are given the tools we need to be able to survive the difficult part; so that we can use the gift that eventually evolves? It would certainly explain your circumstances. It had to have been unbearably difficult to keep your ears open to listen for guidance when confronted with so many reasons to doubt your faith. The ability to forgive that young woman takes so much more strength than choosing to be angry and resentful. You are, and have been, blessed with knowing your innocence; and you can now move on. She will forever know what she did and it's consequences. She will be a prisoner of that pain forever. Her peace can come from knowing that she too might actually be able to use her experience to help others. You have done your part in offering forgiveness and can move on.However, my heart aches for you. I sense and feel the pain that you are still so close to (although not obvious because of your desire to appear so incredibly strong). Sometimes, even helping the world to find Heaven on Earth can seem too little validation for your pain and suffering. It is impossible to know every painful moment you endured, every hideous thought you struggled to overcome, every desperate plea for the ultimate escape, every vision of what you were missing and may never have, every ounce of physical pain that can't even begin to compare to the emotional pain, and just how long a minute really is. Unfortunately, you DO know it and have to allow yourself to feel it so you can release it. It's okay to feel. It's okay to be happy one day and sad the next. It's okay to be happy and still be aware of your pain. Sometimes it actually helps to know that there are people in the world who you don't have to sit down and reiterate every dreadful detail to in an attempt to have them even begin to relate(which is impossible to do), but that SIMPLY DO. I am one of those people and will send positive thoughts and energy your way. As you heal, and even if you never do anything more regarding your ordeal, I hope you know that Josh Kezer has already made a difference. This might just be your time to enjoy Heaven on Earth. Just keep listening, don't think, and continue to relish in the power of innocence and staying true to yourself and your journey.
St. John 3:30It's not about me. I might "feel" that it is sometimes, but it isn't and I've found peace in that. It's about our Crucified and Risen Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It's about the lives I'm being used to touch. I appreciate what you said about angels, but His angels can do nothing apart from Him. And His Spirit is far more dear to me than His agents. God has been good to me through my experience. It's been hard at times, but He has never ceased being good. You and others are welcome to email me any further correspondence. I do read my email. Though I really do appreciate comments on my blog.
Your first sentence expressed what I was attempting to say. As for Angels, I was referring to you as God's Angel and hoping to ease any pain that might still remain. Please forgive me if I came across any differently. I just wanted to reiterate how much I respect you AND your faith. He's always good to those who will listen. Thank you for sharing your story with the world.
I would like to see what you do but the truth is I got scared a long time ago of God. I would like to believe but I can't seem to forget the things I learned, they are a part of me I wish was gone. But how do you unlearn something?