Jesus is alive. It does help to see His hand in things. I hope you know that you are a miracle as well. His hand is on you. The fact that you're living and breathing is a miracle. And I believe His heart desires great things for you. He loves you with an enduring love and is excited about His plans for you. Jesus Christ died for your sins and redeemed you. He made His salvation free to you. He's Lord and eternally in control. And He has designs for you.
Believe that. No matter what, believe that you are valuable and special in His sight.
Blessings in Christ, Josh